Lazy, lazier, my children
When it comes to helping their father with everyday chores, the author’s children back down. What to do?
Published today at 5:45 am—
We are out! Many parents fail to encourage their children to help.
Foto: Getty Images
“Grüessech, is this the advice center for parents with particularly lazy children?” I gasp into the phone somewhat theatrically. My kids are smiling. “Yes, I have two specimens that just lie around and are too tired for anything.” The children crack up with laughter. “What can one do in such cases?”
To explain: Of course, this advice center does not exist. And of course my children know that. And of course, such a circus act is ultimately not beneficial when it comes to encouraging Junior and the little one to help more in the household. And when the fictitious informant of this fake advice center gives tips on what I, as a father, should do now to give the offspring a lesson, the mood reaches its peak.
Aren’t there any ways to motivate the children to just take part voluntarily?
“What should I?” The mini-audience goes wild. “Grab the kids and really tickle them?” I repeat with a smile the advice I never gave. “Aha, first on the feet, then on the stomach, under the arms and finally on the neck – all right. Speak to you soon.” I turn around and… the kids are gone. Of course I’m looking for her. Of course I can find her. And logo: It is tickled. It’s just no use. Except that the little one at the first opportunity – instead of helping – demands: “Dad, do that with the phone and the tickling!”
My kids are lazy. Actually only when it comes to giving your old man a hand every now and then. But maybe I’ll find parents with good tips here in this self-help blog group, who knows. Tips when it comes to getting the kids to participate more voluntarily in everyday life – without bribes, rewards and threats. Some examples:
Little table, cover yourself!
The old man is in the kitchen and has been making a Bolognese for two hours. Shortly before the end, the request: “Children, set the table.” Silence. So the chef checks where the kids are and what they’re doing. One is arranging – incredibly important – his Pokémon cards. “But setting the table only takes about a minute,” I say. The other child says clearly: “No, I don’t like it.” Dad’s wish to help? served. What do you do in such cases?
Clean up? jump over!
When the kids come home from school and kindergarten, the entrance area of the apartment resembles a rubbish dump. Here is a “Böxli” with “Restznüni”, the “Lüchtzgi”, the counter, the “Täschli”, the shoes, sometimes a sweater, the jacket, the gym bag. Just leave everything behind – friends, that’s not possible! “You can jump over it,” says the little one cheekily. Of course it’s me who eventually loses patience and at least shovels things aside. Not very clever, is it?
To collect wood? I do not care!
There’s nothing better than having a barbecue somewhere at the edge of the forest in summer. I inspire the crowd with the announcement: “Let’s quickly find some wood.” But by then the children are already up or behind the trees. It’s not that bad these days, that’s for sure. If the kids of the great-great-great-great-great-ancestors of our great-great-great-great-great-ancestors had avoided looking for wood, the mammoth’s leg would not be cooked yet. I mean, you could support each other, right?
Without “Bitti-Bätti” – is that possible?
Well, basically it’s not about me, as Dad, asking the children for the impossible or even inhumane things. The work or assistance can be accomplished quickly and is not demanding or tricky at all. Sure, every now and then I unpack the “if-that-then-that-club” or the “if-that-not-then-that-no-club” and sanction people who refuse to help.