When he got a depression his whole life was turned upside down. At his lowest point, he had himself admitted to a clinic. Here he was diagnosed with bipolar. With the right help, he slowly scrambled to his feet. This Haarlemmer wrote a book about his darkest time, losing everything he loved and continuing to fight.
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“In 2016 I was in a severe depression. I then got into the car with the idea to end my life,” says Aaron Smits (42). This didn’t work and Aaron decided to have himself admitted to a clinic the next day. He says: “In the clinic they monitored me and found out where my depression came from. I was diagnosed with bipolar there. That made a lot of sense in the end.”
Aaron Smits
Eighteen months ago, he decided to write his intense story under the pseudonym Aaron Smits*. In his book, Aaron wants to show that there is a life with a stamp card and that it is possible to rebuild things. In a light-hearted way he writes in his novel I’m not crazy, I’m Bipo! on this heavy subject.
Black and white
During his childhood, Aaron had not experienced much trouble from his disorder. He says: “I used to not think much about how I felt. I’ve always been very black and white. I went from one extreme to the other. I actually liked this before. When I was happy, I was really very happy. Only at a later age did I discover the downside of this.” It started in 2016. In addition to the manic periods, he also had depressive periods. He says: “These periods now alternate. I can go from one moment to the next from very energetic to very gloomy and vice versa.”
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Lonely
After Aaron came out of the clinic, his most difficult period began. Due to his depression, his wife wanted a divorce and he could no longer see his children. He says: “Once out of the clinic, I entered a new environment. I had to move and live on my own after 15 years of relationship. I felt very lonely then. During that period I relapsed into depression several times.”
Accept
With proper medication and support from his new partner, Aaron is now doing well. He says: “Writing my book helped me process the events. I also wrote it for my children so that they can read my story when they are older. Finally, I want to help others who are in the same situation. I want to show readers that it’s okay to have mental health problems and/or a disorder. Accept it, seek help and keep fighting. You’ll get there, sometimes it takes a while. But it will be fine.”
His book has been available in Haarlem bookstores since the beginning of this year. The book can also be ordered online.
* Due to the intensity of the subject, we use the same pseudonym in this article.
