43 minutes ago
As much as we would like to learn from our mistakes the first time, alas, this does not always work out. We get angry at ourselves for this, we swear, but nothing changes. How to break the vicious circle?
How to stop making the same mistakes all the time? First you need to deal with the internal schemes, namely, with the habits and behavior model that was formed in us in childhood.
Yes, yes, you will say that childhood traumas are already tired and sound from every corner, and you will be right. But the trouble is that our childhood really shapes our worldview for the future life, and in adulthood we either become prisoners of our childhood views, or take responsibility and work with our attitudes, changing our behavior.
So, in order to stop stepping on the same rake, you need to understand what kind of childhood trauma has formed the wrong model of behavior in you. For example, you choose male abusers all the time. It seems like how much is possible? But every time like a blueprint. And all why? Yes, because in childhood, most likely, your father did not show any attention to you and you all the time tried to get proof that he loves you. It has become a habit and now you are looking for men from whom you need to wait all the time for manifestations of love.
You can step on such a rake not only in your personal life, but also in the professional sphere, in friendship, and so on.
With childhood trauma figured out, what’s next?
Start learning. In any unpleasant situation, you want to blame everyone around and leave to eat ice cream with tears in your eyes. But what if we put the accusations aside and take a closer look at the problem? What lesson have you learned? In a relationship, for example, you will know that if a man begins to manipulate you, you need to leave him. At work, if the boss again loads you with tasks that you should not do, you will have the right to refuse, and so on.
Analyze your mistakes. What prompted you to do one way or another? “I don’t know” is not accepted! Be honest with yourself.
Think positive. As soon as you have thoughts “who will need me besides him?”, “I won’t succeed”, “it’s better to remain silent”, etc., immediately redo the positive side. You will succeed, you will be needed by the best person and at the best job!
You can get out of the vicious circle of the same mistakes by working hard on yourself and your willpower. Take your destiny in your hands and you will succeed!