Dating sabbatical: dream man only came when she was no longer looking

Ever heard of a dating sabbatical? Probably not Lena either. But that’s exactly what the woman from Hamburg underwent – and only then found her dream man …

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After many failed relationships, Lena from Hamburg decides to stay for twelve months Dating-Sabbatical: no Tinder, no desperate and hopeful meetings, no heartbreak. In the end, she knows what she wants. And there is also a happy ending.

Dating sabbatical: The dream man came when she was no longer looking

“My relationship status was consistently complicated for years. I always fell in love with the wrong guys,” says Lena Lamberti. The men to whom the Hamburg doctor for psychosomatics and psychotherapy feels drawn are often much older, married or in a different phase of life. “I grew up without a father and apparently often sought support from a more mature man,” she admits.

At the end of 2017, the then 28-year-old made a rather radical decision: For one year she would not want to date a man, not get involved in an affair or even a flirt. “It was an evening in October when I broke up with my on-off affair and a new guy at the same time. I deliberately prescribed a sex quarantine.”

While writing her blog, Lena finds out what she wants

Lena uses the following twelve months to find out what she really wants. In order to persevere, she writes on her blog “oneyearnoguy.org” (currently no man for a year) about how she is doing and what knowledge she is gathering. “That really helped me. The first few weeks were really tough. Almost like a withdrawal,” she says. But she also learns to train her “no muscle”. “That’s exactly what has always been difficult for me to set limits. Now I had to keep my vows. And that was really good for me.”