Deprived of the visiting rights of her triplets, Barbara Deramisse, their “social” mother, launched a cry of alarm.
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It counts the months, days, hours, minutes and seconds. An interminable wait. It has been seven months since she saw her children, three months since she heard the sound of their voices. An eternity for Barbara Deramisse, a specialist educator from Nîmes who lives and works in Nîmes, now deprived of contact with her triplets.
“How do they live the break? What consequences will they keep? What questions are they asking?”, wonders this woman who no longer had contact with two daughters and her 12-year-old son. Coming from a homoparental couple, she did not wear them in her womb, but in her heart. She had them with her ex-partner. They were born in 2008.
Even if she has raised, loved, pampered them since their birth, Barbara Deramisse has no status in the civil status of the couple’s children. Since the conflictual separation from the biological mother, contact has been broken. She did not see the children again.
Law void
They were born from an assisted reproduction abroad with an anonymous donor in 2008 before the passage of the law establishing Marriage for everyone (in April 2013), a law allowing the non-biological parent to adopt the children of the biological parent and the law bioethics, in July 2020 authorizing assisted reproduction for single people and couples of women and jointly recognizing children from birth.
However, the couple separated when the children were four years old. She keeps them every other weekend and half of the school holidays. After a year of proceedings and a social inquiry, Barbara Deramisse obtained joint parental authority in 2010. In 2014, relations between the two mothers deteriorate and Barbara does not see her children again for a month and a half.
Moving despite shared parental authority
At the time of confinement and on the pretext of a health problem, the biological mother once again deprives Barbara of the right to visit
The latter then initiates proceedings. She learns that her children and her former partner must move to Montpellier at the start of the school year. “Parental authority gives the right to participate in important decisions in the life of children including the choice of place of residence … This delegation of parental authority is supposed to give me rights but it is flouted, trampled on … .
There was marriage for all, the law of bioethics in spite of everything I heard myself say that I could not be considered as a parent, as a mother. It is incredibly violent.
The new companion of the biological mother of my children can adopt our son and our two daughters and I cannot …. This would mean for me and all the parents who are in my case that the social “parent” is interchangeable .
Best interests of the child
“We must put the best interests of the child back at the center of the debate. Let these children, even in the event of separation, keep both parents. Barbara Deramisse, who is anxiously awaiting the decision of the family court judge to rule or not on the rest of her case, will campaign whatever happens to see her children again. “So that we can legislate, stop using children in conflicts between adults.”
Parents without rights
She campaigns for this within the association of Parents without rights. The association which has 350 members and as many families in the same situation as that of Barbara Deramisse works for the recognition of social parents through a reform of filiation in France.
Who can claim to impose on a child whom he should consider as his parent, whom he should love?
My desire to highlight this story is the relationship of a mother to her children. They have the right to have two mothers (or two dads) and to continue to see them, it should not be an adult story “.
Barbara Deramisse will make every effort to see her children again and as her son asked her the last time she spoke to him, “try to make up for lost time”.
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