Marathon Training can Strain Relationships,Experts Warn
LONDON – A dedication too marathon running and endurance training can inadvertently damage relationships,according to relationship experts. The intense focus and time commitment required for such pursuits can lead to feelings of alienation and resentment in partners, necessitating open interaction and compromise.
According to Major, a relationship expert, it’s crucial to consciously reconnect wiht a partner after training. “Even if you are knackered, make sure you create a space for re-entry into your relationship after you’ve been out doing your thing,” she advises. “Ask about their day, how the kids are, if the mother-in-law made her hospital appointment and things that are vital to you both.”
Finding a balance in conversation is also key. “When partners feel alienated they find it hard to show interest in whether your training or event went well,” Major explains. “You need to find a balance in which you can discuss some elements of your sporty hobby but not let it overwhelm the conversations between you.” She stresses the importance of reciprocal acceptance,noting that if one partner doesn’t run marathons but the other does,the former needs to acknowledge its importance to the latter.
Unexpected commitments can be particularly damaging. Major cites examples of individuals signing up for endurance events without prior discussion, leading to conflict. “The sporty partner keeps it quiet because they know it is going to cause ructions and the other partner feels as if the rug has been pulled from under their feet and it is all a thousand times worse than it woudl have been if they had planned ahead together for events that are important to both of them.”
Experts also caution that an obsessive focus on training could be a symptom of underlying relationship issues.”Sometimes partners who are unhappy in a relationship will seek external validation from a hobby,” Major says. “If you suddenly find yourself getting drawn into hobbies that take you away from the home a lot more, stand back and ask yourself if it is because you are genuinely enjoying the challenge or because you are trying to escape a difficult situation.” In such cases, seeking professional help from a relationship therapist is recommended.
For support and advice, visit relate.org.uk.
